I Am Not Shy

In one the many Q&A posts my hubby participated in, he mentioned that
I was shy. When I read it later on, I confronted him on the fact I am
NOT shy. Shy is not something someone who knows me well would say.

So, am I saying the Hubby doesn’t know me well? Not at all. At first
I thought he was not articulating my personality very well. I am not
someone who finds it easy to conduct “small talk” in social
situations. It is like talking about the weather as common ground,
and I have a hard time not finding it a waste of air to have that
conversation. A teacher in high school in a recommendation she wrote
for me said “Emmy thoughtfully contributes to conversation.” I liked
that phrase because that is exactly it. I hate people who talk just
to talk. Let’s have a debate instead. Let’s swap lies. Let’s not
talk about the weather (unless of course, the weather is what is on
everyone’s mind). I think the Hubby articulated this as shy because
he’s an extrovert who just doesn’t understand how to really describe
me.

There is a blog I follow called The Park Bench – a blog by a woman who
identifies herself as a geek. She posted an article entitled “Quiet
Does Not Equal Crazy..” where she talks about this article called
Caring for Your Introvert by Jonathan Rauch. While I have a hard
time saying I am a full-time introvert, I do find I relates to the
characteristics.

I do like being alone sometimes….not all the time, but sometimes.
Social situations with people I have not necessarily “connected with”
are awkward for me. What do you talk about? And, I spend a lot of
time listening to a conversation I am not sure how to contribute to.
In the end, I’m known as “a good listener”. Which in some cases is
fine, but in other cases is kind of a “whatever”.

And, like the article points out, people drain me. Being in a group
doing “small talk” makes me want to crawl into a closet to get away
from it. And, that has been something I have felt for most of my
life. I remember in high school hitting a point where I would have to
spend half a day holed up in my room reading and just recharging after
having to deal with customers all day. Work can be the same way for
me today. It’s funny because when my daughter started going to a
preschool near work, it was bitter sweet for me. Sweet because I got
to see more of her, but bitter because I no longer had my drive to and
from work to be alone to recharge.

Like anything, I’m still don’t feel I am a 100% introvert. I can be
very extroverted sometimes, and without the after affects of needing
to have quiet time. And, when I’m in my native habitat as a computer
geek, I am fine.

I guess I just feel the need to further explain why his comment is a
misstatement. And, why I may lurk on the blogs I read without
commenting (I may not have any comment to make). And, why you may
need to draw me into conversations (and I can be drawn into them when
I feel I know you better, I will even start them). It’s not you; it’s
me.

What do you think?