For the Love of SPAM

I shared with everyone a few days ago 100 things about me, and one of the items was that I have the sense of humor of a 14 year old boy.  A side email with Hubman the other day made me starting thinking about all of the stuff I have a strange sense of humor about related to my job in IT.

And, I think, the biggest thing I have a sense of humor about is SPAM or unsolicited email (or Shit Posing As Mail, which isn’t what it really stands for, but I like it anyway.)
Anyway, since my real name is very similar to a male name, I used to get a lot of “male enhancement” messages from the beloved spammers.  The older messages were more humorous than the new male enhancement messages.  And, my absolute, all-time favorite, provided-us-with-months-of-fodder message was ….….
………for increasing the amount and distance you ejaculate.
No mention about becoming a larger size.  No mention about improved stamina.  Just an increase in the output and distance, so to speak.
And the text of the message was also hilarious.  Things like “studies show that taking our supplement will increase the distance of your ejaculation up to 10 feet”.   Can you imagine that study test?  “Okay, sir, would you stand on this line and have an orgasm so we can measure the distance it will travel”?  
Because I’m not shy and good friends with a couple of my male coworkers, I asked if this was something they were concerned about.  I thought they were going fall out of their chairs with laughter.  After assuring me that, no, men don’t worry about these things, the jokes began.

“Would you want that so you could do drive-by impregnations?”

“Hey, I got my wife pregnant last night….from across the room!”

“I wonder if the studies were like the long jump.”

Or, someone would simply walk by and say “up to 10 feet”.  

So, while people hate spam, and they get angry over it (and yes, they do get angry over it….very angry sometimes).  I feel it is always good to glance through the junk mail before you delete it because you just might find something that will entertain you.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Hubman says:

    I never got that one before!

    Sometimes, based on the spam that shows up in my inbox, you’d think I can’t get it up, it’s too small when I do manage, and I don’t last long enough. Now I’ll have to add ‘don’t shoot enough, far enough’ to my list of possible deficiences!

    Because now that you’ve mentioned it, you KNOW this will show up in my inbox tomorrow!

  2. So funny…I get stuff like that sometimes too.

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